Harm by the Church

Hello Everyone,

Recently, around me, adults have been asking, “Why are so many young people leaving the church?”. I am very much aware that one of the biggest reasons for young people distancing themselves from Christianity is the harm done by the Church. This can vary from the major historical crimes to personal traumas within the Church. All of these are valid criticisms of Christianity that some have tried to sweep under the rug and others have done their best to make reparation for. But what I am here to talk about specifically is young Christians who were hurt by the Church and the grudges they may carry. I really am preaching to the choir today. 

Some of the first things that come to my mind when I think of church are control, constraint, judgment, and tension. Granted that is my experience, I’m sure there are pieces that align to other churches. How do we overcome this? As a body, we can be more open minded. Be aware people are going to think differently than you and, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, respect that. I feel like churches spend a lot of time trying to fix everyone else, but never want to address the issues within themselves (see Matthew 7:3-8). 

In terms of us as individuals with grudges toward the Church, the right thing for me to say here is that we should forgive and move forward. But I don’t know how I can tell you to do that when that’s not even something I have been capable of doing myself. Forgiveness isn’t as easy as just saying “I forgive you”, it's a real feeling. It's an action that you mean in your heart. I don’t believe it’s healthy to hold on to grudges or unforgiveness, but I also don’t think it’s healthy to say things you don’t mean. I truly believe the best advice I can give you in that situation is to distance yourself and work on your walk with God personally. Your walk with God is more important than your church attendance. Work on moving towards forgiveness, and eventually, once you are ready, find a new church or ministry group. 

This got personal fast, but till next time,

Rune