Letters by Caleb Pt. 1

If I’m honest, I don’t know where to start with this series. 

My whole life, I have struggled to articulate my own emotions. I didn’t even know that I had issues with trauma until I was nineteen. 

One year ago this month, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder relating to an experience I had when I was three years old. I have spent the past year in therapy and prayer. I would be lying if I said that it was easy. I would be lying if I said that this post is easy to write. 

So, what is the point of going through the pain of semi-regularly writing about my trauma? At the end of the day, I think I want to remind everyone of something: you are not alone. 

You are not the only one who is dealing with trauma in your past. We all have issues we don’t tell others about, usually because of some unexplainable combination of pain, fear of judgement, and unreasonable guilt. 

I’m reminded of the story of Joshua- where he also is struggling with an overwhelming feeling of dread and loneliness, and can only be reassured with the phrase “No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.” 

And sometimes, I feel like Joshua here. I feel alone, like nobody can know what I am going through. But no matter how I feel, God is with me. I am not alone, and I will never be alone.  

And you too. You are not alone in this, and you never will be.